Cancel Me

"I just want to go home. I don't care about the show anymore. I hate all of the guests. I hate management thinking they're so much smarter than me. I hate it all. Every time ratings come in, I pray we take a nose dive so I don't have to be here," Abigail pauses.

"Why do you want the show to get cancelled," Beth the director asks.

"Because I want to go home and be with my family. I want to play with my nieces and nephews. I want to hold my dog. I'm always here, or doing some live version of the show in the middle of nowhere. I'm never home anymore," Abigail continues.

"But you're making so much money," Beth interjects.

"Fuck the money Beth."

"Fuck the money?"

"Fuck the money. Money can't buy happiness. Sure, being lonely in a five star hotel is better than being lonely in a tent under the highway, but you're still lonely. High quality 5000 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets or whatever can't hug me back."

"If you want a hug, I got you. Then I'll get you a weighted blanket so we never have this problem again," Beth laughs.

"Girl I'm serious. I hate this show now. I really do hope they cancel me." 

"Well, let's get to syndication because I got student loans to pay off. Then they can cancel your ass into oblivion," Beth leaves with a laugh.

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