River Song

As violent whoops and jetski noise rose from Viking River, I passed a bench covered with the stickers you used to get on fruit. I take a seat and look out to the river, I watch a singular guy. I know what even I don't want to tell myself why.

Jealously, they say it is one of the ugliest emotions. But I can't help but to be jealous.  Illness took away all the fun years of my life. I never got to ride a jetski, or have women flocking to me. I spent my summers looking out of hospital windows when others went sky diving. Sure, I survived, but I don't have anything to show for it.

Life, just isn't fair. It's a hard truth I had to accept a long time ago. Some people are born with everything and lose it all. Others are born with nothing and rise to the top. But most of us, aren't born with a damn thing, and it stays that way. We never find true happiness or meaning in our lives, but we're not supposed to be jealous. We're just supposed to be happy for everyone else while life stabs a big knife into our backs. 

So I'm happy. I hope everyone down on that beach is having a great time and a fantastic life, because mine is messed up. Someone deserves to be happy. I'll just put on this fake smile, and pretend I'm never jealous. No matter how much I want to be down on that river with everyone else.

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