"Nah, I'm good," I respond, focusing on the task at hand.
"What? Most people would be ecstatic right now," he rebukes me.
"I'm just not everyone. Ending transmission," I end the call.
He's right, most people would be over the moon, and to be fair, I am floating over the moon right now. Making repairs to the space station is more important than whatever Becka has going on down there. Even if the repairs are managed and could be put off for another few weeks. I just don't care about her, and nobody can understand why. They tell me I don't get the gravity of the situation, their little joke. Imagine and astronaut, not getting gravity.
They don't realize I've been up here for thirteen months, with no visitors. It takes nine and a half to ten months to give birth to a child. It's not my child, I don't care about it anymore than I would another human I had never met. I knew Becka was cheating before I left, I just didn't know she would take it this far. I expected the other astronauts to figure it out, but clearly they forgot a few things since being up here.
What's that old soap opera? The World Turns or something like that. Well, we just get further and further apart from we started the more the world turns. In the end we don't really know what tomorrow brings. I know it doesn't bring parenthood for me. For now, I'll just do my job up here, and when I get back down there to that big blue ball of life, I'll have to build a new life. Somewhere far from here, and far from where I was.
Part of me still loves Becka, and wants her to be happy. The other part wants to never see her again, purge her from my mind. I don't know how to do it, but hopefully time will do it for me. Unfortunately, time doesn't pass very fast, and it passes even slower up here.
