Art Critic pt. 1


Modern art? All this is bullshit if you ask me. A can painted silver with gold to look like shit. I wouldn't be surprised if modern art is some big money transfer scheme between illegal businesses schemes. Damn, I sound like Ace now. Cynical conspiracies aren't my thing, just straight up problem solving.

"Mr. Swift, you're late," a forced flamboyant voice calls from behind me.

"Stylishly," I turn to meet the gallery director.

He's anything but stylish. A thin and dirty looking man stands in front of me. Blonde hair with a purple streak, but a scraggly brown beard. Shoes that seem to be dirtied on purpose, ripped jeans that are far too torn to be fashionable and a t-shirt filled with holes and discolored spots. I suppose this is fashion these days. The man seems to look like a teenager at first glance, but looking harder at his face you can see the wrinkles of forty year old man, trying to hold onto his youth. I'm not impressed with his attempts.

"Perhaps I should find some other private dick to work the case," he throws his hands in the air.

"Alright, see you around," I head towards the exit.

"Wait, Let's start over, my name is Thomas. I'm sorry. I've just been under a lot of stress lately." he apologizes and extends his hand.

"Me too, how about we just discuss why you want to hire me."

"Well Mr. Swift, here we specialize in modern art. We want to bring the world of art to this community. But, we keep receiving threatening letters in the mail. Our building has been desecrated with graffiti and the police claim they have nothing. No fingerprints, and said since nothing was damaged beyond cleaning they didn't really have a reason to track down these thugs ruining our gallery," he covers his face with one hand. "Will someone bring me a bottle of water," he screams out.

"So you want me to find out who has been vandalizing this... fine art. That's it?"

"Yes, we will pay anything within reason."

"Alright, let's start with the notes."

"We threw them out, they were really tacky," Thomas waves his hand as if I should move along from the topic.

"Okay, well is there any graffiti I can take a look at? I might recognize a tag and can track down the artist to get some answers."

"Very well, follow me. There was more of this vandalism done last night. Our big opening is in a week, we can't have this, especially not in plain view. We're heading to our arts garden. A small garden area for viewing the art of landscaping," Thomas leads me through a set of double doors at the back.

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