Heart to Heart

"I just want to apologize to you. I'm supposed to say I'm sorry to people I hurt. I know I hurt you more than anyone else. So, I'm sorry."

"Jim, I don't give a fuck, how sorry you are. You were a piece of shit when we together. You're a piece of shit now. You come in here with this half ass apology because the court mandated you to go to rehab. That guy in the jacket over there, probably your sponsor. You don't believe any of this shit and the minute they stop watching you, you'll be jamming another needle in your vein."

"No, I really am sorry," Jim keeps pleading.

I don't believe a damn thing he says. I should have never trusted him but I just kept trusting him. Over and and over again he fucked me over. Ruined relationships. Stole two different cars. Broke into my house and to think I considered him a best friend at one point. I've been trying to meditate and learn more. Buddhism says that you're not punished for anger, but you're punished by anger." I've been trying to let my anger go.

I can't. I take my cup of coffee and pop the lid. Before Jim can react the guy I picked as his sponsor is rushing over. He isn't fast enough or strong enough to stop me from pouring the cup over Jim's head. He screams out in pain before the cup hits the floor. Somehow it still isn't enough for me. The coffee wasn't event that hot. I throw a punch and knock him out of his chair. People start to scream for help and others pull out their phones.

I don't know what to do, so I panic. I run out of the shop and get into my car. I pull off without even putting on my seat belt. Fuck him, I shouldn't feel bad about what I did. Any reasonable person would have done it. I've lost jobs because of him. Fuck him and fuck his addiction. Fuck his sponsor and everyone else who welcomes him back with open arms. I've got a right to be mad.

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