Bills, student loans, credit cars, rent is due, junk mail. The normal stuff in the mailbox today. Except, there's a letter there. No name on the envelope, but it's sealed with a wax stamp. Who does that anymore? I take a seat on my porch and slide a finger under the wax to crack the seal. I pull out a handwritten letter on yellow notebook paper. Really old school indeed.
I used to love you. I think part of me still does. If I had to describe it, I was in love with you. Now I just love you. Maybe I just loved the idea of you. The idea of us staying up late playing games together. I'd go to work and come home to you. For a while, I felt like you wanted the same thing. I remember the night on the beach, you asked if I loved you. I said no, because I was afraid to say yes.
As the years have gone on, I think we've just grown apart. We don't focus on the same things anymore. I'm focused on trying to provide for a family. Something I never wanted to do. You're trying to carve out a place in the world and cement your legacy. I don't know if I can help you with the path that you're on. A road, I've never been on. I wish you the best, and I'll be here to support you.
I don't want you to think this is a letter where I'm begging you to give me a chance after all this time. I see you've found a lover, and I think you're great together. I just thought I needed to explain myself. I wasn't really comfortable with who I am and you didn't seem to be either. But, you were willing to cross that line for me and I wasn't willing to meet you there.
Sometimes I think about what we could have had, but those thoughts don't last long. Neither of us was really being honest with the other. I think we were just lonely. I do wish we hadn't grown apart and I hope we can hang out some more. It's been a while since I've seen you. I don't know why I'm writing this. I said I wanted to be more honest this year and part of that means being more honest with myself. That means trying to reconcile our relationship. If it is damaged. I don't know. Call me.
- Nathan
Who the hell is Nathan? I don't know but clearly he's going though something. Sucks his letter ended up in the wrong mailbox.
