No Mistakes

"Do you know the lord?"

"Yes, I think I do," I answered through the wall to the priest.

"Then why do you continue this sin," he asked.

"It feels good," I answer honestly.

"To engage in intercourse with another man is damnation, it is to deny the lord," he emphasizes the damnation part.

"Where does it say that," I ask.

"In the good book."

"But where, does it actually say that?"

"Do you believe I would lie to you?"

"Not intentionally."

"In Leviticus it says for a man to lie with another man is an abomination," the priest quotes from memory.

"I mean, yeah it says that but back then it just meant they weren't clean. Men couldn't even touch women they weren't married to without being an abomination back that."

"Do you wish to continue living in sin?"

"I mean, I'm still a virgin. The worst thing I can do is have premarital sex."

"Do not pretend you know the will of God," the priest raises his voice.

I exit the confession booth. I don't want to hear anything else from him. I struggled with this my entire life. I'm 36 and I've never had sex because everyone kept telling me I would burn in hell. But, this is what I want. I want to get laid. I'm trying to get some sex, now. I've read the Bible as much as they have, and they're so wrong. Those priests probably touch little boys anyway. At least I don't think about kids. Perverts.

Now, what's the name of that app people use? Oh, I remember. Grindr. I'm going to do some grinding tonight. Maybe not tonight, but I'm going to start the process. And that gay bar, there's a gay bar I drive past every night on the way home from work. I'm going in to get a drink tonight. A big gay drink, something with an umbrella. Hiding just makes me anxious, talking to priest just makes me feel depressed. God wouldn't have made me this way if I was an abomination. God doesn't make mistakes, that's what they always say right? Well, I made a mistake, now I'm about to go live my best life.

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