Numb


"You're not a real man, you're nothing without me, you never have been," she yelled, spit flying from her mouth.

"Alright," he calmly replied.

Their latest argument had been about putting together a small table. He planned to do it later this afternoon. She wanted it done now. Before he had brushed his teeth, washed his face or had breakfast. They had countless arguments like this before. He knew what would happen. She would yell about how terrible he was and how he was nothing but trash without her. She would then call her friends and explain how she was living with Satan himself. They would call him, lecture him, blame him. He would feel bad and apologize.

This time was different, he didn't yell back. He didn't say anything more. There wasn't any anger in him for this situation. He had already been through it countless times. She wasn't going to kill him, so what could she really do to him? Tell people he was a bad person because he wanted to eat breakfast before being put to work, on his day off? He would just have to be the bad person, he didn't care anymore.

"I'm leaving, don't follow me. I want you out of my life forever," she didn't budge from the couch.

Another hollow threat for him. What would he lose if she left? He'd have to cook his own meals, he liked to cook new things. Maybe get a smaller cable package, actually he had been planning to cut the cords anyway. He wouldn't lose anything but her company. For the first time, he realized he would be okay with that. He wasn't going to be upset if she did leave, but he wasn't going to beg her to stay either.

He was okay with this. For years he had tortured himself because of moments like this. Blamed himself, even when he had done nothing wrong. She would never apologize, she might do something nice for him. Signifying she knew she was wrong. None of that mattered anymore. He couldn't bring himself to care or argue with her. He would be the devil today, the bad guy for a week and she would either love him tomorrow or leave his life forever. He didn't care either way.


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