Lunch Hour Special

"Can I get a number three with extra avocado," I holler to the guy behind the counter making sandwiches.

"You can get out of my shop," he responds.


"I'm not serving you. Not now, not ever," he says staring a hole through my chest. He turns to the lady behind me. She orders as if I'm not here in front of her.

What just happened? People move around me like I'm just a furniture fixture in the store. Do I know this guy? What did I do to him? Is he serious? This guy has to be insane. I've gotten lunch here at least six times before. Nobody ever cared. Sure, they don't have the best customer service but not this nonsense.

"Hey, I want a number three with extra avocado, my money is just as good as anyone else's," I say to the man.

"Fuck your money," he responds with laughter.

"What did I do to you," I ask agitated by the situation now.

"You really don't remember? I was just that insignificant in your life Geoff."

"Why do you know my name?"

"Because you spent the better part of middle school and high school making my life hell," he shoots back, turning red with anger.

I know I was a little shit growing up, but I don't even recognize this guy. Whatever I did, it must have traumatized him. I just wish I could remember what I did. My lunch break is almost over and now my stomach is rumbling. Maybe if I just apologized.

"Hey, I'm really sorry. I know I was a jerk and I shouldn't have done those things to you," I start, but can't finish.

"Don't give me any pre-packaged bullshit. What's my name?"

"Your name?"

"Yes, say my name."

"Tony, you're Tony."

"That's right, Tony two trays," he responds with a smile creeping over his face.

"Look, Tony, I'm sorry. We were kids back then and my parents had a real bad relationship. I didn't mean to hurt you so much. We're both adults now. You've got a successful restaurant. I love the food here I just want to buy lunch. Consider it a peace treaty."

"How about you get the fuck out and never come back?"

I don't even have the option to argue, my lunch break is over and I have to get back. I guess I kind of deserved this one. I knock over a stack of cups on my way out as an act of defiance. Maybe I'm still a jerk.

You can purchase my novel Phantasmagorical on Gumroad for $2.99
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