Cotton Eye Joe

Eula Mae Brown was the sweetest thing I ever knew in my life. I thought we had the world in front of us. Then that dirty hack Cotton Eye Joe stole her away from me. Ran off and had a family from what I hear. Then he left her somewhere on the road to California to raise the babies by herself. He's a sick bastard. But what can I say? She always had a thing for men with a little power. Mayors, sheriffs and outlaws.

I should have never had a shot with her, but she gave me one and it was great. We were gonna get married and have a life. Then he rode into town on his horse and she was good as gone. I came home to all her things and most of mine gone. Left me with almost nothing. Just a letter that said "I'm with Joe now." I've spent the last six years waiting for this opportunity and it's here.

Cotton Eye just walked into the saloon and had a seat at the bar. I instantly fold. I had a full house but there are things more important than cards in a man's life. Today is the day I come face to face with Cotton Eye Joe and settle this like men. You don't steal the love of someone's life and then mistreat her.

"Cotton Eye Joe, you're the low-down dirty slime ball that stole my woman’s love away from me."

"I'm drinking here," he responds without looking at me.

"I don't give a damn about your drink."

"Don't push it chump. You obviously know who I am. If I stole a girl of yours get over it. I've turned a many of men's wives into harlots. You isn't the first and you won't be the last."

"I challenge you to a dual. You milky eyed bastard. Just meet me out there in the street."

I step through the doors and wait. We can go somewhere else or do it right here I don't give a damn anymore. Slowly bar folk start to crawl out. Word most of got around that there was fixing be a showdown. Everyone already knew I wanted revenge for what he had done. Now I was gonna get it. A circle forms and we wait for him to come out. I know I can't walk in and shoot him. Then I'd be locked up even if I was wronged. But if he walks out here. I'm gonna blow his head clean off his shoulders. I have waited for this day.

Joe walks out. Looking sicker and frail than he did last time. I hadn't noticed in the bar. He's walking with a limp. A better man would see he's sick and let him off the hook. I don't care, I ain't a good man.

"Let's get this over with. Don't mean nothing to me to kill another man."

"6 paces turn and shoot."

One, two, three, four, five and six. I turn. Joe hasn't moved. His back is still turned to me. He's giggling like a school girl.

"Gonna shoot me with my back turned? That ain't honorable."

"Turn around Joe and get what you got coming to you."

A storm is brewing. Dust rolls through the town and Joe just stands there. Laughing like I'm a fool. Daring me to shoot him in the back. I've waited this long; I can wait just a little longer. I holster my gun and the turn to walk away.

I hear Joe move so I turn and shoot. Bullseye. Right in his chest. That crook was gonna shoot me in the back. Now he's dead. He's dead. He's dead, and I don't feel no better. But the bastard is dead.