I Am 6 Motherfucker


Mommy fixed the motherfucking Apple Jacks. I love Apple Jacks. They don't taste like Apples but they're good. I'd stab somebody for Apple Jacks. You gotta slurp up the milk when you're done with the cereal. That's the best part. It's like cereal flavored milk. Time to go to the park with mom.

I'm wearing my tutu today because it's Tuesday and that's a tutu kind of day. A girl needs a good tutu. But you always need a cowboy holster too. Just to make sure everyone knows you're a bad motherfucker too. Yes I dance, but I will strike you with the full power of the law.

Don't talk on the phone mom. I want to sing with you while we walk to the park. Oh so you're just going to ignore me. Does Samantha look like a bitch mom? Well do I? Maybe I should just run out in front of a car. Would Samantha look like a bitch then mom? Well would she? I didn't think so. Oh look, a butterfly.

Slides are so fun. I can just ride them all day. Oh shit. Did this motherfucker just slide right after me. I swear if I get to the bottom of this slide and she slams her feet into my back I just might snap. Oh yeah, I'm gonna do. SHE DID IT.

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you," She starts to scream.

"What did you do Samantha," well how motherfucka. I didn't do anything. "Let's go home."

I will never forgive you for this motherfucker.