"I'm going to take my horse to the old town road," Lil Nas X sings. That's the cue for the Naruto runners to take off. They rush towards the gates in mass. Over 100,000 strong. More than we had expected to show. A few are shot right away. They didn't believe in themselves. If they had they would have made it past the bullets and giant robot. They wouldn't have been turned into popcorn by the microwave blast or flattened by the tanks.

"Get down get down," Kyrle screams out as another microwave burst is sent out from the giant robot that burst through the ground. We thought the raid would be easy, but they knew we were coming. I'm not sure how.

They slam into the fence over and over again. Area 51 should have known a chain link fence would have never been enough to stop us. More robots appear. Our runners are being stopped. Area 51 thought they were memes but we have a secret weapon.

"I been in the valley, you ain't been up off that porch," that's the cue for our secret weapons. Keanu Reaves, Chuck Norris and Shaggy rush the robots. They're no match. The tanks crumble under the might of Shaggy's Doo-fu. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks a robot into orbit. Keanu rides through on his motorcycle and cuts them off at the legs.

In no time at all we make it through to the base. With their forces decimated outside it takes only minutes for us to break through and find the aliens. They're all their. The Martians, the Neptunians. There's so much alien technology and objects. I couldn't believe it when we saw Jay Electronica's album. Who knew this was what the aliens were hiding.


Butchers We Are

"Butchers we are, that is true," the large bald man said with a bow. He seemed proud of his work. He was not a butcher in the normal sense. No he didn't cut up cows, pigs and chicken. Instead he butchered human bodies. He didn't typically kill them himself, but he would dispose of them. Cut them up well, mix them in with other animals, grind it up and sell them as sausage. It was how he made his living. It was how he kept his crew paid.

The unlucky man in the chair was William Edwards. He served in the Gulf War as well as the Vietnam War. He hasn't been on active duty in a few years. He was married to Beth in 1982. He gets to work at 6:30am. None of this mattered anymore. He had fallen in with the wrong people. Thought some mafia work would be a great way to make some money. A fast and easy security job.

Things didn't work out that way for William. Instead he didn't have the heart to pull the trigger when the time came. A few thousand dollars, that was what his life was worth. He just had to drive a bag of money to the other side of town. When they approached his car at a red light, he did the smart thing. He handed over the money and continued living. That came back to haunt him. Now he's sitting in front of the butcher. There isn't much he can do now to get out of it. It's unfortunate that Beth will never know what happened to him. She'll have her theory and never visit the local butcher again. The theory will be correct, but she'll never know for sure.


No More Crowns

I used to weave crowns of gold. A king or queen is nothing without a crown to show their power and wealth. Two kings, six queens, four princes and nine princesses. I created crowns for them all. Each one more magnificent than the last. I never rushed one, I never made one that wasn't loved. That has been my job. I have no talents for making weapons, but jewelry is easy. It comes to me and calls out to me. Crowns are my favorite, everyone wants one even if they don't admit it. But everyone cannot have one.

My time as a crown maker has come to an end. The city has been burned and they have decided there shall be no more kings, queens, princes, princesses, lords or ladies. Royalty, has guided us safely through hundreds of years. Yet they have decided that will no longer be the case. Perhaps I shall make more rings. They never seem to go out of style.


Nine Days

Black clouds burst above. We do our best to keep everyone on board with the plan but concerns are starting to drift in every day. What we're doing here will save the world. We all agreed on it. The black cloud may look terrible but it is our savior. They all knew this wouldn't be easy and there could be casualties. So far nobody has lost their life so this is senseless complaining.

We only need nine more days of production and we'll be all set. The nanonbots we're producing are able to produce a new ozone layer. We could probably do the same down here, but it would require a ridiculous amount of energy and would kill us if handled incorrectly. The bots can directly channel the suns energy to complete the process.

Just nine days. If they can stop their complaining for nine days we'll be done. If they stop, I'll release the cloud of bots into the atmosphere and hope that those we've finished will be enough. Everyone wants to save the world and prevent global warming in theory. But, nobody wants to make the sacrifices necessary. I'm willing to make those sacrifices. Everyone here was willing to at one point. Now they're worried. We've been working production for forty-one days already. Now they're afraid because the sky gets a little dark. They knew this coming in.

If they fear death, they should pray to whichever deity they believe in and get back to work. It makes no sense that they would sacrifice the world to save themselves. I'm not asking them to give me their blood. I'm only asking them to give me their scientific knowledge of the world. These cowards will not stop my work.



Everyday that passed, her shattered psyche slowly healed. She had endured the traumatic and feared it would destroy her. She stared a serial killer in the eyes and lived the story. She wasn't without her own wounds. Physically she had healed from her wounds long ago. Stab wounds were stitched, cuts faded.

Mentally, she may never truly recover. When you stare into the eyes of evil, it has a tendency to break through to your most primal instincts. She did that, and hasn't been able to return to normal. No average person could do that. Still, she fights to regain a piece of herself every day. I imagine she'll win one day.

Walking in on her sister slaughtering a family. That doesn't leave you. We've tried everything short of shock therapy and a lobotomy. She still remembers. She still wakes up in the middle of the night screaming. But she's trying to recover, and that's more than I can say for most of our patients.



As a sullen fog rolled in off the empty harbour, I thought about my childhood, before the cannibals menaced St. Peters estate. We used to spend hours on the front lawn playing soccer. When we grew older we instead chose to take our vices to the gardens in the back. It was such a beautiful home. At no point did I expect that my life would turn into what it is now.

I would have spent more time in my teen years building up muscle and endurance if I knew I would be outrunning cannibals by the time I grew to be 25. How did the cannibals come to be? I can hardly remember. There have been so many rumors. Lab experiments gone wrong, nuclear waste. Somehow they managed to rapidly grow in numbers. I thought they would be similar to the zombies in the old moving pictures we watched. Instead they are rather similar to us.

Well hopefully all of this nonsense comes to an end soon. Supposedly this fog de-tangle whatever wires may have become crossed in their minds. Either that or it is yet another harebrained scheme pieced together by the fellows who have secluded themselves in the lab. For now I wait, and load my gun. In the event that this does not work, they will not be dining on my flesh tonight.


Basic Servings

I have the satisfaction of knowing that it is all right; that everybody else is one way or other served in much the same way. This is supposed to be basic training for SPACE. The Scientific Planetary Alliance for Celestial Exploration. Instead they've been filling us up with pills. We're more like guinea pigs than soldiers. None of us got what we signed up for here.

I signed up to be a soldier. The woman next to me signed up to be a scientist. She wanted to study the plants on different planets. Instead, they're just giving us all the same basic training. This is a joke. They won't even tell us what these pills do. I'm sure the folks who want to be scientists could figure it out, but they haven't even gotten to go into a lab yet.

The food they feed us isn't much better. It's all supposed to be rations that we'll eat when we're in space but I'm not sure we'll ever get to space. There's a few hundred of us here and none of us has even seen a ship. There's a lot of things we haven't seen. I wish I could see the forms we signed again. But it looks like the recruiters played us.

I thought I would be landing on planets, covered in wild life. Forced to defend myself and my squad. Establish a basecamp. Wait until civilization could be set up. I remember why I signed up. I read about this planet, Mestrial. It had four moons, that was some shit I just could not believe. One half of the planet is covered in ice, and the other half, jungle. That's crazy, and I wanted to see stuff like that. Instead, I'm here swallowing pills.



The sky begins to clear. Worn rocks carved with faces of strangers. A new planet awaits us. This one was named Uwoumir by the Galactic Council. There are six moons, a big change from Earth for sure. Still, they believe the atmosphere is similar to that of Earth and it may be a suitable new home for humanity.

I'm not sure what happened to the last creatures that inhabited the planet. The large stones show face for sure. Different from our own. They lack noses and their ears seem to be on the front of their faces. I'm not sure if those are ears. Mouths and eyes are recognizable for sure. The rest, not so much. Still there is no other sign of intelligent life on the planet.

Wildlife seems to be plentiful based on our scans. Temperature hold steady between 75 and 85 degrees through day and night. Most of the time the planet is in night. It only catches the occasional glimpses of the system's sun peeking through the moons. There's no rain or snow from what we can tell and water makes up approximately 60% of the surface. It's different from Earth, or at least what it used to be but not entirely.

I'm not sure if this will be the final destination for humanity, but it could be a good start. However, I've been told it is best to solve mysteries before planting roots. I heard stories of the mars colonization starting our first space war. I'm not sure if that was a story they told us to keep us under control as cadets or it really happened. We realized Mars wasn't a suitable home long ago. Uwoumir may be suitable.

Still the faces watching over our landing party leave me somewhat uneasy. There was a civilization here at some point. Someone had to build these statues. Where did they go? Why? Perhaps they're still here, buried by time long ago. I have so many questions to ask, but nobody can answer them.