Why

Why can't I get out of this slump? I know what I have to do, but I still can't do it. I just don't understand why it needs to be me. Why does it have to be this way? I grip the gun tighter in my hands and look into her eyes, and I still can't think of anything but why. It didn't have to be this way, and I know it has to be, but why couldn't it be some other way. I aim the gun at her head, and close my eyes. She was such a good dog.